All Things in Moderation

In my 30th year of life, I learned something about myself and life in general. I think my 20s were spent trying to live life to its fullest. Everything was so new, so much to do, so LET'S DO IT ALL! AND NOW!

I tend to be the type who is all or nothing, and, when I'm all in, it is balls to the wall.

I rarely stirred an ingredient into a recipe. (There are strange lumps in my food.)
I introduced myself to running by sprinting, every day, for half an hour. (Inexplicable ankle injury?)
I have a list of things to get done on a Saturday but forget to eat. (Literally almost pass out.)
I take on as many clients as a I can, driving to their homes several nights a week. (I'm oddly tired all the time and almost fell asleep during a session with a 4-year-old & missed out on some good times with friends.)
If one glass of wine/coffee is good, how great would 3 be?! (Bad mornings, sluggish days and a lot of weight gain or great mornings & awful afternoons, respectively. And surprisingly always thirsty?)
I need to diet, so I cut my calorie intake by 45%, all at once (Felt deprived and exhausted)
I just want a little sun on my pale, pale skin. (My golden bronze is more of a lobster red.)
I want to see Europe so we went to 8 different cities in 15 days. (Ok, I don't regret this one, but I'll never do it again.)

And these are only a few items on a very long list.

Starting in January, I decided it was time to change. I started dieting, too stringently at first. I started working out, too hard at first, but eventually, I found a balance.

I realized food tasted better when it was nourishing me and I didn't walk away with that uncomfortable stuffed feeling. I realized that, I do still enjoy a good glass of wine, but it really doesn't get any better after the tipsy feeling begins. It truly only gets worse. I realized that eggs are better when cooked on medium-high heat instead of the hottest temperature possible for quickness. I realized that to change your lifestyle into a more healthy one requires a month or two of pretty intense focus, but that you must let life back in, even if it means you can't stick to your regimen exactly as you would like. I realized that nights with friends should be a priority. Work is important but there is a limit to the quality you can provide, especially if you haven't first cared for yourself.

Interestingly enough, when I've consciously made these efforts at moderation, cultivating discipline and self-control, those moments of indulgence are guilt-free and so very sweet.

I've lost 20 pounds since January. In a way, I've put myself first and become more conscious of the decisions I make regarding my time, energy and health. It seemed so self-centered when I began, and I don't know if I would have done it if I didn't think it was important to helping me conceive and have a healthy pregnancy some day. So, really, it wasn't about me even to begin with, but now it is and I feel better than I have in a long, long time.